Loneliness


I have stopped missing you, and the ache has been replaced with pure loneliness.

Hating you had stopped being an option, every movement you made, every word you said made me drift into oblivion, and love you more each time. My foolishness tends to take me over, and conquer my mind and soul.

I saw you as a piece of my heaven. I took the sacred sensation of happiness that you gave me with each given moment, and allowed you to cloud my judgment.

You took from me my sanity, the glory of my personality, the calmness of my soul. I became someone that I couldn’t even recognize. How did I allow you to possess me, how did I lose my hold on reality?

I never said a word against you, even as I saw myself slipping away with every given moment.

As the years went by, I’ve realized that the same person that made me smile when the world was crashing down around me, could also make my world crash in ways that I’d never imagined before.

And today, I saw you, and felt like I could finally be myself again.

I didn’t need you to make myself feel whole. I’ve learnt that I can be happier without the pain you cause me. I had gained a twisted mind, loving you made me believe that the pain is a better option than happiness, and you fed that into my gullible mind. You’d brainwashed me into believing that no one else could love me or care for me in the way you did; but looking back, I see that you were warped up in your own little narcissistic mind, sick to the brim, using me as your only hope for salvation, but making me lose myself in the process.

I will rise, and accept the love that I know I deserve. I desire more than what you can give me, I deserve more than what you’ve given me and I demand more than what you can ever give me.

Loneliness has consumed me, but it is worth the ache.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s